Lately...

Lately something BIG has come to me.

Make me think for a long time to search for my inner-self.

Seems like I was lost and I don't know how to come back to the right path.

And having to face the fact that in the future things will never ever be the same again after this. Wanted to regret it but it's already too late for me.

Right now I feel empty and useless.

Nothing much that I can do to make things right.

I tried though but still I think it's wasn't good enough.

I am not good enough.

I spend my days pretending like I've got nothing to worry about but in the end,

I ended up crying my heart out every night blaming myself.

My-stupid-self.

How stupid I was back then.

I really has lost myself.

No matter what, this guilt will never fades away.

From time to time I prayed to Allah swt to give me some strength to go through the hardships that I bear from a long time ago until now.

I was hoping and still hoping...that someday I could really let them go...

All the bad memories will fade away someday...I'm hoping so much...